A Yogscast Christmas Carol
Chapter 1: Death and Deals
Sjin was dead. As dead as a door nail.
The funeral was small, for he had been greedy and cruel - not to mention not well-liked by his peers - and the reception wasn't too well either. The only ones who showed up were a small owl, a black cat, a woman with blonde hair and a brown flowery dress, and Sips, Sjin's partner-in-crime.
Sips was just as cold-hearted as his partner was, maybe even colder, and did anything he could just to save a few dollars. He was slightly short, had black hair that was just visible on his head, black eyes, and grey skin that would make smoke look like a fluffy white cloud. He wore a black suit, neatly cleaned and pressed.
Sips was not the kind of man to show sympathy towards others, not even his fellow deceased partner. Less people to take the wealth the better, Sips thought. As soon as the funeral ended, he marched straight back home, feeling as if he had wasted his time on some stupid little funeral.
7 years later...
The city of London was abuzz with cheer. Blankets of snow coated every rooftop, smoke billowed cheerily out of every chimney, and the sounds of bells and gleeful cheers could be heard from the streets below.
It was the day of Christmas Eve, and the whole town was full of excitement, with carolers wandering the sidewalk to spread joy and townspeople striding past one another with a "Merry Christmas!"
All was happy in London. All but one person.
Sips sat in his office fiddling with the many piles of golden coins laid across his desk. A sour look was plastered upon his face, and he gave off a strong, distasteful aura. He owned the company Sips Co., formerly known as Sjips Co. before Sjin's untimely death. To save a few bucks, instead of getting a new sign in front of his building, he just crossed out the "j" and kept the rest of the sign as it was.
Sips Co.'s main profit was selling quality dirt to people, and it brought in quite a lot of money. But even though Sips knew that Christmastime was the best money-gathering time of the year, he couldn't help but feel annoyed and spiteful.
At a lone desk in the main room sat a tall, lanky man. He had brown, whispy hair with matching facial hair and deep blue eyes. He wore a red jacket with gold trimmings, a blue and white striped shirt, and brown pants with black loafers.
He shivered at his desk as he counted daily profits and wrote them into the company book. He turned towards the small, old furnace, with a single lump of coal sitting in its center, slightly smoking as it grew cooler.
Another wave of chills rocked the man as he stared into the furnace. He shook and wrapped his arms tightly around him, trying to preserve as much heat as possible. He then saw the coal basket sitting right next to the furnace, feeling warmer just by looking at it. He slowly looked around, being sure that his boss' door was completely closed, then very carefully climbed out of his chair and reached for the bucket.
As he grasped his hand around the handle and lifted it into the air, a large "BANG" emanated from behind him, making him jump and drop the bucket, spilling coal and coal dust everywhere.
"XEPHOS!!!!" bellowed Sips. He had a fiery look in his eye as he gazed daggers into his employee, who was now scrambling to regain himself.
"Y-y-yes s-sir?" Xephos stuttered, both from cold and absolute fear.
"I told you, 'One lump of coal a day!' I'm not paying you to warm up your ass while valuable working time is wasted! Now clean up that mess you made and get back to work!"
"Y-yes sir!" Xephos scrambled to fetch a broom, sweep up the dust, throw the coal lumps back in the bucket, and sit firmly back into his chair. He bent low over the large book and began to write hastily.
Sips gave a final snort of disgust and turned back into his office. He began mumbling to himself about the kind of help these days as he sat back into his own chair. He began to fiddle with his coins once again, now in a worser mood than he was before.
A sudden rapping on the front door interrupted his playing, making him look up. "GET THE DOOR!!!!" Sips barked at Xephos from the other room. He heard the sounds of quick feet, a door opening, a few soft spoken words, and a quiet knock on his office door.
"Come in." Sips stated. Xephos carefully opened the door, not wanting to upset his boss even more.
"Sir, there's someone here who would like to see you."
"Bring 'em in."
The door opened wider as a women stepped into the room. She had blonde hair tied up in a bun, and wore a brown dress with floral patterns sewn onto it. She held a basket filled with coins around her arm and a clipboard in her hand. One look at her filled him with instant malice and hate.
"Good evening, Mr. Sips." greeted the woman in a would-be cheerful voice. "I'm going around the neighborhood collecting donations for the poor and homeless this Christmas. Would you be interested in making a donation?"
Sips leaned back in his chair and started playing with a piece of fuzz he had found, rolling it around between his fingers.
"Are there no prisons?"
"Plenty of prisons, Mr. Sips."
"And the workhouses, are they still in operation?"
"Indeed they are, but I wish to say they were not."
"Why not send them there then?"
"Many can't go there, and would rather die."
Sips looked away from his fuzz up to the woman, straightening up and staring at her. "Well then, if they'd rather die they better do it, and decrease the surplus population!"
The donation lady gave a look of utter shock at this statement, but quickly hid it with a calm face. She drew out her pen and clicked the top. "So what shall I put you down for?"
"You wish to be left anonymous?"
"I WISH TO BE LEFT ALONE!!!" he bursted out, now standing behind his desk, spilling golden coins all over the floor. The woman recoiled at this sudden outburst and slowly backed up to the doorway.
"I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Sips. I'll go now. And Merry Christmas, to you, too." As she turned to leave the building, Xephos sneaked a coin into the woman's basket. "One thing the boss doesn't know won't hurt him." he whispered to the lady, giving her a kind smile. "Bless you, kind sir! And Merry Christmas!" the woman whispered back, returning the smile. She then exited and closed the door with a soft "click".
Xephos returned to Sips' office, where he was told to pick up the coins that he had spilled onto the floor. As he cleaned, he listened to Sips rant and rage throughout his office, occasionally kicking a few coins on purpose.
"Pfft! 'Merry Christmas'! Why, if I were in charge, anyone who went around with the words 'Merry Christmas' on their lips, should be boiled with his own pudding and have a stake of holly pierced through his heart! 'Merry Christmas!' Bah humbug!"
Though taken aback by these words, Xephos continued to pick up the scattered coins. By the time he was finished, it was closing time.
"And I want to see you here at 8:30 sharp tomorrow!" Sips ordered as both men began preparing for their treks home. "But sir," Xephos said with slight sadness in his voice, "tomorrow is Christmas Day."
"Fine. 9 o' clock, then."
"Actually sir, I was thinking...maybe...the whole day off?"
Sips stopped pulling on his coat at the words "day off". Xephos thought he might snap again, but was filled with relief when Sips muttered, "Alright, you can have the day off."
"But be here all the earlier the next day!"
"Oh I will, sir! Thank you sir!" Xephos said rapidly while shaking his boss' hand. Wrapping his scarf around his neck, he sprinted out of Sips Co. as fast as lightning, shouting out into the night, "MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!"
Sips buttoned the buttons on his coat and also stepped outside. He locked the building and started on his way home. As he heard the woots of his joyous employee, he mumbled to himself, "Bah humbug!"